Defusing a Confrontation

• Don't lock horns.
  • Hear them out.
  • Catch it during the escalation.
  • Don't feel obliged to be a technical evangelist. You're not selling it, just telling it.

• What's driving them?
  • Under attack, do not take a defensive posture.
  • Take a deep breath.
  • Move toward the problem.
  • Read body language, tone of voice, etc.
  • Figure it out.
  • React positively -- "We're all on the same side."

• Remedies
  • Respond with body language.
  • Acknowledge.
  • "I'm willing to be wrong."
  • Remind the room of some prior success.
  • Invite the room or an individual to help out.
  • Attaboys and Go-Girls.

• The driver is almost always self-esteem, in some form.
  • Know that you're both ok.

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